Day 30 :: 30 Poems in 30 Days April 2016

I Live, April 30, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

I Live, April 30, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

I Live, April 30, 2016

Well, the close of 30 Poems in 30 Days challenge has comes to an end today. There is a part of me that is glad for it. I found working under the pressure of the commitment during a time in my life that I don’t feel strongly poetic to be such a struggle and even harder to share with you poems that were hewn out of my mind. They weren’t polished. They were not edited. They didn’t come out of a good flow process. They were work and discipline. They were me doing my very best when my best was way beyond reach.

The other part of me is proud to have made the commitment to write 30 original poems in 30 days. I went into the project knowing that it would be a challenge under my current circumstances but felt compelled to take that journey. A challenge and I stood up. I suppose on the other hand to not feeling poetic, that I was very much so considering that I chose to write even when I knew it would be difficult. I did it anyway. Because the core of me is poetic. It is, no matter the circumstances. Even when it looks near impossible, I do it anyway. Difficult phases in life can deplete the creativity but ultimately it is not squelched.

That is sort of the top of the mountain phenomenon. When the climb is excruciating, you know it will be but you set out anyway. You prepare but encounter challenges along the way in terms of pain, fatigue, injury, equipment failure, and weather obstacles. When you reach the summit, all is forgotten and that view captivates you. No, not forgotten, it actually made the view that much more the awe. Definitely not forgotten, every obstacle tore you down and you put yourself back together stronger. It becomes part of your gears, you take it with you to the top and it gives you the eyes to see farther, deeper, focused. Compelled to summit.

I am compelled to write. So I am glad for the climb and I thank you for sharing it with me. I think you are as brave as I am. It is natural for us to want to cheer on the successful and hard to watch someone struggling. It was not always easy each day to say, “This is the poem I have to share.” Sometimes I was more proud of completing the share than the poem. There is a part of me that is always striving to be better, to make better, stretching to find a new level and it is the most difficult for me to present work that I feel lacks a certain inspiration within it. However, I look at this process differently. It was not about each individual poem. Yes, some of them were great and some of them fulfilled a position, but it was more about the collective process. I remembered that some where towards the end. The unasked, asked question within me – was I willing to venture even when I knew I would stumble often, maybe fail? Would I continue on when I was going no where?

That is the spirit of my creative force. It does not answer to any illusions or forums but only to create. I did that. I created 30 Poems in 30 Days.

Unlike the last words of my last poem, “I am the same”, I am changed for answering this challenge. In the poem, I am finding the beauty of being and acceptance comes. I think it is a lovely poem to finish Poetry Month. It is the collective climb and summit moment.

Thank you for taking this journey with me. Thank you for not looking away but for wishing that I would get it together. I consider that encouragement. As an artist that deals heavily in process, I see the same affects in my writing. This project was a process and part of its creativity was exposing that process. I hope that you also found inspiration in following the process whether it was the poetry or witness to my climb, that is my true success.

Here’s to next years horizon of what ever it may bring.

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Day 29 :: 30 Poems in 30 Days April 2016

Day Title II, April 29, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

Day Title II, April 29, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

Day Title II, April 29, 2016

Some poems are words that have cognitive meaning but this poem tells the story in an unlikely way. I write almost daily and in my journals, I title each entry with one to two words. Collecting a year worth of these words and presenting them as their own collective body tells a unique story.

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Day 28 :: 30 Poems in 30 Days April 2016

That Never Sleeps, April 28, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

That Never Sleeps, April 28, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

That Never Sleeps, April 28, 2016

Where to start with today’s poem? A friend of mine, Frank, made the comment that it looked like a brain. What a perfect interpretation as I happen to appreciate the brain image. After all, the poem is set in the mind. It is written in a sort of mantra allowing the natural flow of typing to take on the characteristics of layering dust.

There are a few things that I like about this poem. The image, yes, for one. The brain is beautiful. And it is a live image full of visual energy. Second, the paradox of the statement. Is dust restless? It has a reputation of quietly collecting in stillness on a surface. However, its a lot of work to layer tiny little particles. If a surface is not maintained, dust will take it over. Thirdly, that the title is the end of the poem and adds a little more conundrum to the statement perhaps alluding more to the restless.

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Day 27 :: 30 Poems in 30 Days April 2016

Self Portrait Of Strength, April 27, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

Self Portrait Of Strength, April 27, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

Self Portrait Of Strength, April 27, 2016

There was a time I wouldn’t leave the house
in wrinkled clothes or without a fresh shower
Now, I’m not even sure that I own an iron
and I’m pretty sure my hair hasn’t been washed in three days
I’ve got mud up to my thighs
My shirt is a little too tight so I’m wearing a fleece vest
in the middle of summer, I might add
Its not unusual to wear glasses but I’ve got a second pair of readers on top of my head
my purple plaid sleeves are buttoned but awfully dirty smeared with red dirt
my hands are clean but my fingernails tell another story
I just ate lunch in the car right after I took a comfortable nap with the seat way back
I sat up and leaned out the open window to investigate a door ding
to forgivingly find a woman caught up in the safety of her small child
so I just eased back down
before I switched out of my rain boots and went into the library
Suddenly I saw myself as someone that might appear to live out of her car
Is this the glamorous life I imagined when I was young?
No, its much better, its the life I dreamed of to be so free.
I have hands that help others, that can reach into the earth
and plant flowers for those who cannot bend so low
clothes that protect my skin from scorching and abrasions
hair that can appreciate being part of the wind
I think its better to see than be seen
and if I am, there is a bit of modesty
I’m fortunate to nourish my body with healthy meals
knowing a little bacteria is harmless
a car door won’t heal itself
but a mother and child don’t need any wounded looks
A library won’t judge more than feed knowledge
and I feel smoothed out in matters of the day
because I know that I carry my iron on the inside

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Day 26 :: 30 Poems in 30 Days April 2016

Laws, April 26, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

Laws, April 26, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

Laws, April 26, 2016

Today’s poem is written in ode to the paradox’s of nature’s laws. It snakes down steeped in a concept of what moves forward also moves back while talking about needing to do the opposite of what our natural instincts would sometimes lead us to do. As I read back over the poem, I had a sort of jarring effect at the end of finishing a line that was written backwards as the clarity of the next line being written forward seemed so clear and exposed. It seemed rightly so.

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Day 25 :: 30 Poems in 30 Days April 2016

IEEI, April 25, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

IEEI, April 25, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

IEEI, April 25, 2016

It is not easy to have a full day that is focused on everything but poetry and then to vice out the time at the end of the day to be creative. However, a commitment is a commitment and I will do what I don’t feel like doing, like I don’t think I can do, what my mind is too tired to do, in order to fulfill my commitment to this 30 Poems in 30 Days Challenge. Sometimes its in these moments that the great things happen. That is the reward. Sometimes it isn’t, but that’s not to say it is a failure. I see the poetry on days like these just as much a success because it is the discipline that holds up the pillars to the house where poetry can live and I just posted one more pillar. The behind-the-scenes of the struggle and the mishaps; the trials the errors are the moments to embrace with pride, without them, no greatness will ever be realized.

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Day 24 :: 30 Poems in 30 Days April 2016

Wheels, April 24, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

Wheels, April 24, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

Wheels, April 24, 2016
The movement of this poem is just as much the poem as the words. I find that to be a beautiful element to my poetry when the form tells just as much a story as the words or allusions.

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Day 23 :: 30 Poems in 30 Days April 2016

Away Today, April 23, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

Away Today, April 23, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

Away Today, April 23, 2016
My studio was out of reach today and I found myself without a typewriter. I was disappointed that I was not able to keep in sync with presentation but if I’ve learned anything, it is to adapt. So I prepared a poem on my smart phone not to break the 30 day streak.

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Day 22 :: 30 Poems in 30 Days April 2016

Better, April 22, 2016

Better, April 22, 2016

Better, April 22, 2016

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Day 21 :: 30 Poems in 30 Days April 2016

History of Enough, April 21, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

History of Enough, April 21, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

History of Enough, April 21, 2016
In the History of Enough, I was thinking of the word itself. In all of its contexts, it seemed to have a finite meaning; In terms of movement, it is a word that implies a stop after a series of actions.

In creating a poem that is an ode to its concept, I traced the etymology of the word letting each word either grow or reduce into the next until it comes to the modern word of enough.

What started the focus on enough was a mix of the phrase, “enough is enough” and the idea of something being enough as in not needing to be more. With those thoughts, the word flowing until it stopped was just as it is defined, enough.

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Day 20 :: 30 Poems in 30 Days April 2016

30in30

Only Arrows, April 20, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

Only Arrows, April 20, 2016
Today’s poem is a good example of why it is so important to do something creative everyday. I have been thinking poetically for twenty consecutive days and once a practice becomes as natural as breathing, it begins to flourish. It awakens. Even the street is poetry to me. I drive to my part time job and see the beauty in the words painted on the street. If you love something, love it everyday. It makes a difference. If you are a writer, write everyday. If you are an erospace engineer, make rockets everyday. As the poem suggests, get in the correct lane for your life.

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Day 19 :: 30 Poems in 30 Days April 2016

Nothing Is, April 19, 2016

Nothing Is, April 19, 2016

Nothing Is, April 19, 2016
Just like it sounds, nothing is on my mind. Some days, and by some days, I mean today, this is how I feel when my mind is squeezed by the stresses of certain events in life. They can be quite toxic to creativity. Paralyzing the flow. One exercise I perform when I have particularly difficult times – I write anyway. If it is just writing about how I cannot write, still I write. And I think this poem is a wonderful rendition of that sentiment. This routine also carries over in my art practice. It may sound more difficult to draw when one doesn’t know what to draw but it is really quite the opposite. There is no need to form words as in writing, it is simply making marks on the paper. Although there is nothing simple about it because there is something built in all of us that strives to create something worthy. That is the highest speed bump. But creativity is movement. I’m not waiting for the perfect thing to say, I’m saying it now, imperfectly.

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Day 18 :: 30 Poems in 30 Days April 2016

Waking Poem, April 18, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

Waking Poem, April 18, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

Waking Poem, April 18, 2016
Today’s poem has taken a new direction from all the struggle and seriousness. I remembered my philosophy on trying and it is: “Don’t Try.” In not trying, I am doing or being and that is so much more true than trying. That is not to say that I do not believe in practice and conditioning because I do but in the moment of, I find that when I try to do or be – that I often fall short. However, when I stop trying, and do or be, it can be lovely.

In today’s poem, in the not trying, I also remembered that my default of thinking and speaking is very poetic. Its not because I try, it is just who I am. It was never something that I noticed or recognized about myself until I began to hear it over and over from my friends and acquaintances. They would often make comments of how poetically I spoke. I’m glad for every one that ever mentioned it as it served as an encouragement and I appreciate their support.

So in the poem, I woke from a nap and these thoughts went through my mind. I recognized a certain rhythm to them and thought they were nice. I think I should also mention that I am not one to take naps often but when I get up at 3:00am it is just the right thing to do.

Also, I enjoy writing quirky poems. This gets weighted down with life’s stresses sometimes but its nice to remember. Thank you for reading today’s poem and hope you enjoy.

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Day 17 :: 30 Poems in 30 Days April 2016

Last Breath, April 17, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

Last Breath, April 17, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

Last Breath, April 17, 2016
There is a time for everything and in my time these days, there is discord.

I am not sure how long it will last; when I will pass through it. Sometimes I think it is a little bit of April. My empathy with nature feels the gathered energy and angst of breaking the ground like a little seed or bursting the bark like a leaf bud on a tree. Its a month of transitioning, or bursting forth. April has an energy of feeling like – I cannot take this anymore.I.must.break.through!

I also think it is a period of my life when I am struggling. My frame of mind in my current environment is not conducive for being creative. I am having a hard time finding the joy of being quiet and creating. I can be still but my mind is not quiet nor focused.

However, I think it is extremely important to continue to create even when inspiration is low or hard to find. So often in the forward movement, of even a simple progression. can produce a path to great things. In this 30 Poems in 30 Days project, I am not hiding my hardships or imperfections. I am showing day by day what it looks like to write. Some days will be difficult, some months and sometimes it will endure for a season. At the end of this thirty days, I will have an inventory of thirty poems. They may not all be great or even good, but I will be proud that I moved forward. I am not afraid to show my unedited progress or my imperfect creations. Creating is so much of problem solving, its a process; not to be confused with being flawless.

For all the struggles of this project, it has a great value. That value is found in first the movement and second the courage to not be great. If you are a writer, keep writing as a matter of fact, what ever you do, keep doing it. That is the only way to continue. And if you are a supporter and reader of my poems, Thank you, keep supporting. You make a difference.

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Day 16 :: 30 Poems in 30 Days April 2016

To Say, April 16, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

To Say, April 16, 2016, 30 Poems in 30 Days

To Say, April 16, 2016
Today’s poem is about those moments, like today, when I don’t know what to say, when I think I have nothing to say. In writing, there is a practice to overcome this obstacle. It is to write anything without the need to make sense or reason. Its the practice of movement. Many times it has unlocked a direction in my own writing. During this practice, it sometimes comes down to me simply saying that I don’t know what to say.

I find this poem beautiful because this is what I am writing but the black mark implies there is something to say. It has not been extrapolated or articulated just yet and by the end of the poem, although unreadable, it does say something.

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